The future is just going to be reading documentation to figure out how this particular environment that someone else has set up wants to deal with its database accesses because someone had a good idea and someone else fell for it, forever, right? This rant brought to you by accessing Postgres from Typescript. Fuck I just want $dbh->quote(), is that so hard? (And, yes, I'm muddling through this on MacOS, so apparently that involves compiling Perl from scratch.)